Baby

Baby jokes

Name

    • One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"

    Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."

    The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"

    Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."

    The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"

    Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

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    • Difference

    • What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?

    I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.

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    • Jesus

    • What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?

    I don't worship Jesus.

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    • Abortion

    • My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

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    • Name

    • Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.

    Aaron: Why?

    Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.

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    • Morbid humor

    • What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."

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    • Difference

    • What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?

    Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.

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    • Difference

    • What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

    One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

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