New Baby Jokes - Page 23 - Worst Jokes Ever

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.

Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Kids uncle " your mum said you can have your friends round tonight ! But imma have to baby sit today" . Kid "OK THANK YOU". (AT BED TIME ) Kid " Please may u stop touching my leg BEN!" Ben "im not " (turns light on ) Kid " UCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME !!!"

What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.

What's the difference between a baby and a mansion? I've never seen the inside of a mansion

What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut

Babies are healthier

How do you make a baby float?

You take your foot off it’s head

How do you quiet a baby down?

Make baby back ribs for dinner

Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?

It was homesick.

Why did you say hi? Baby’s don’t talk

Q: How do you make a fire? A: Oil and dead babies

How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating

what does the Peanut butter baby say "Ah"

whats the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?

About 5000 calories

What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey. What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.

what did the substrate say to the active site? cmon baby we fit together open my door lock to fkn key

How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.

Why was the Ethiopian baby crying? It was having a mid-life crisis.

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby its a "choice". But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children its called "murder".