What do you call a baby in the crib?
Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.
Baby Jokes
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
Travis has baby hands.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?
One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.
While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋
Blueface baby!
A baby seal walked into a club.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
