Baby

Baby Jokes

A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.

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There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"

What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.

What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

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When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.

How do you get them back out? Straw.

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Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

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