Attack jokes
So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.
But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."
So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.
This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
Why were the people in the Twin Towers upset? They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plane.
A receptionist at the Twin Towers orders two pepperoni pizzas. She was upset when she got two planes.
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
9/11
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
What died on 9/11? 2,996 people.
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"