Ass jokes
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid
Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!
TONIGHT
FOR FUN
YEAH YEAH YEAH
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
What did one ass cheek say to the other?
"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.
Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
My ass itches.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
Even the World Trade Center underwent a better upgrade than your ugly ass.