Asked Jokes

A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time?" The woman replies "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."

A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so i put her in the oven

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

i used keep asking a woman if i can rape her until she got so annoyed and said "stop asking me"

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don't have a ...

I asked my midget neighbour if he wanted a lift. He told m to "Fuck of!!!"! I thought what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat. She said nothing, so I took her to Africa

What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?

SpongeBob asks if you're ready first

A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul walker and no one else

Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him

A little kid was lost and he asked me to find his home, I love working at the orphanage

people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage

I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.

when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life

One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said "I dont know it all happed to fast"!

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like a the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How you ask? Ask the Twin Towers

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like ur striped red and tan gloves" and she asked "where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "oh I made the red stripes myself"