Asked jokes

What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"

So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."

He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"

Orphan: Can I go outside?

Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.

Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW

I asked a kid where their parents were...

Lol

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!

But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3

Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”

There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."

"Then how about Karaoke?"

To which he replied, "I have two left throats."

What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?

Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?

My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"