Arms jokes
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.
A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail.
"Doctor, doctor!" He cries out.
"What is it?" The doctor asks.
"I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded.
". . . That's because I amputated your arms."
A man lost his left arm.
He's all right now.
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
101 pedo jokes.
Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?
Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.
Keep it going on lol.
Why did James fall off the swing?
He had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."