Ares jokes
Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I have a new joke.
My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.
Teacher: Why are you late!
Girl: I need my beauty sleep.
Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
I hate you, Gwen. You are a stupid idiot!
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
Are you the Twin Towers?
Because I want to smash you.
Priests are priests.
Why is the sun red today?
The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like Honey Boo Boo!
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.
So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?