Ares jokes
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
Why are white people so white?
Because they forgot to urine on lotion.
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.
My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.
The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.
What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.
I love my job at the orphanage.