Ares jokes
Girls are like stones.
The flat ones get skipped.
Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Memes
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
100% of them are like him!
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!
Rachel: Alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣