Appearance jokes
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.
Your hairline lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
Your hairline is so messed up, it made Jeffrey Dahmer cry.
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.
And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"
You're so ugly your mirror shattered.
Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."