Appearance Jokes

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.

I had to fix his collarbone.

What do you call a person with no eyebrows?

Ms. Burgos.

Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!

Friend, you so faaaat.

Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.

The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.

Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?

It’s their funny face.

Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.

Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Yo mama so fat, she was mistaken for Eric Cartman from South Park.

Yo momma so ugly when she the and ugly weird the and she ugly!

George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.

Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹

That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹

Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.

I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?

Ur fat.

Slow and steady wins the race...

...but it will never fix your ugly face.

Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.