My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
Appearance Jokes
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
Kim Jong-Un thicc af.
Girls with the name Carley have the biggest forehead on the earth, I mean, moon.
Wanna hear a joke?
Your face.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Your hairline is so far back your mom can't cut it.
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to the ugly club, they said, "Sorry, professionals only!"
I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.
Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.
Your hairline is so bad that the Teen Titans gave up.
Your forehead is so big that I can’t even see your hairline, and your stupid forehead face.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.
