Appearance jokes

Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.

Me: They're certainly not wrong.

So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”

You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.

Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.

As you can see here, Jessie is wearing a lot of concealer.

Jessie?

Yo mama so ugly that when she looked at the sun, it exploded.

Y yo body built like a half a tooth pic lol.

Daikon legs.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

The more they smile, the less they see.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".

You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.