Appearance jokes
His hairline doing the moonwalk. Oh, I forgot, he doesn’t even have a hairline.
Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.
Your hairline is so far back that it would be a 70 mile trip to the back.
Your hairline is so bad that the Teen Titans gave up.
Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.
Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.
I had to fix his collarbone.
What do you call a person with no eyebrows?
Ms. Burgos.
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.
Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.