This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
Your hairline is so far gone that you could build a runway.
Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.
Like if you like porn.
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
Violets are blue, or green, so is your face so ugly, too.
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
What do Rapboat and Caseoh have in common?
They're both chubby.
