Appearance jokes
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
Yo mama is so ugly that not even the Socs wanted to jump her.
Yo mama's so ugly that even Hello Kitty had to say goodbye.
Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
Your hairline is so far back, a pilot thought it was an airplane.
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
Nah, bruh, my hairline straighter than a gay person's.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
Jorden Calerendiá.
I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.
Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?
I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.