Appearance jokes

Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.

Take a few steps back like your hairline.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?

Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.

When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.

Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.

What do you call a fat motivational speaker?

Four chin teller.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

Does that dick match that forehead? 👀

Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!

Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣

Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."

Your hairline is so far back my grandpa saw it before you!

Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.

Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.

Husband: The second we entered the beach,

Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"

Make like your hairline and scram!