Appearance jokes

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.

Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.

As you can see here, Jessie is wearing a lot of concealer.

Jessie?

Y yo body built like a half a tooth pic lol.

Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.

Yo mama so ugly that when she looked at the sun, it exploded.

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

The more they smile, the less they see.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".

You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.

Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.

Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.

Hot water look a**.

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!