Appearance jokes

Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.

Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.

My diet:

Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...

Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.

Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.

Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.

Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?

Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.

Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”

Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?

Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.

My grandad and your hairline go way back.

Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.

Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.

When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.

Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say bye!