Appearance

Appearance jokes

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Child

  • I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

    Makeup

  • You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

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    Friend

  • Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."

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    Husband

  • Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

    Wife: Aww, thanks.

    Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

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