Appearance jokes
You think my face is ugly? Yours is more.
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mustache." "Mustache who?" "I mustache you a question, but I'm shaving it for later."
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
As you can see here, Jessie is wearing a lot of concealer.
Jessie?
Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and I feel better.
Your mom is ugly.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and feel better.
Coworker, why is Sara so blue?
Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.
Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?
Son: A ugly girl.
Dad: Why not a pretty girl?
Son: A pretty one might run away.
Dad: So an ugly one might too.
Son: Yeah, but who cares?
Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.
Your mom is so ugly Biden likes her.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.