Appearance

Appearance jokes

Lie

3 views ·

"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?

Insult

1 view ·

The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.

Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."

Kid: 😭

Yo mama

13 views ·

Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Child

2 views ·

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

Mama

3 views ·

Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.

Makeup

7 views ·

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

Friend

75 views ·

Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."