Animal jokes
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
They are hairy.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.
Roses are red, get on your knees, and bark for me!