Animal jokes
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
Memes
bombastic side eye
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.