Animal jokes
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
Memes
bombastic side eye
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!