Animal jokes
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
Animals are just... so hot!
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
What's a cheetah's favorite food?
Fast food!
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
7000+ bats.
I like cats.
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer:
To prove it wasn't chicken!
What is a rabbit's favorite drink? Hare wine.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
What bee can't fly?
Koby.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.