Animal jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
bombastic side eye
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
gay fish.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other side.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.