Animal jokes
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
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What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.