Animal jokes
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
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Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
gay fish.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other side.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!