Animal jokes
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
bombastic side eye
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
gay fish.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other side.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.