Animal jokes
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
You
You
You're the cow.
noot noot
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
How many children does Explain Bear have?
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Wanna make out, Explain Bear?
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
Dad fucked Mom.
Mom fucked son.
Son fucked sister.
Sister fucked dog.
Dog fucked cat.
Cat fucked bird.
Bird fucked fish.
Fish fucked Dad.
Dad really liked it!
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.