Animal jokes
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Memes
if you like cats then you should like this post
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
Why did the bee buzz off?
Because he had to bee somewhere.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?
A porkypine!
If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.