Animal jokes
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
Memes
if you like cats then you should like this post
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
Why did the bee buzz off?
Because he had to bee somewhere.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?
A porkypine!
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.