Animal jokes
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
Memes
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip!
Why did the chicken go to the mall?
To get new feathers!
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
What did one angry cow say to another?
We got some beef.
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
A cow's favorite singer: Adam Bovine of Mooroon 5.
What do you call a cow on steroids? A bull-y.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.
What do you call a cow?
A cow!
"Captain, captain, the armadillo has been sighted by the lizard!"
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
"Dog the dog" and Maggie were frightened of her, and the kangaroo said that she had to be in a hospital with a doctor. Jokes and Maggie were walking. I was going to go off the road to the city hall to see her, and I said that the only one-piece dress for women readymade RB collection, as he was walking in the city, and Maggie was a little bit more on the side of it.
Wheels on the bus go round and round Round and round round and round Wheels on the bus go round and round All through the town.
Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep Beep beep beep beep beep beep Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep All through the town.
The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa Baa baa baa baa baa baa The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa All through the town.
A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!