Animal jokes
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotofpuss.
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. 😂😂😂
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
Mole
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."