Animal jokes
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip!
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
Why did the chicken go to the mall?
To get new feathers!
What did the bus say to the mail?
Dog.
There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"
omg
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Bear.
Bear who?
Bear bum!
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
"Captain, captain, the armadillo has been sighted by the lizard!"
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the Mooovies.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fuck you, that's why.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."
The other said, "Really? I like my bed."
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!