Animal jokes
Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.
What do monkeys eat for dinner? KFC.
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”
Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”
Ex-girlfriend: “20!”
Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What do you call a caterpillar that's sad?
A sad caterpillar.
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.