Animal jokes
You smell like a monkey, and you might have to take a shower, pu.
Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover their butt. Quack!
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
Memes
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Bear.
Bear who?
Bear bum!
What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.
What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."
The other said, "Really? I like my bed."
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip!
Why did the chicken go to the mall?
To get new feathers!
What did the bus say to the mail?
Dog.
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!