Animal jokes
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip!
Why did the chicken go to the mall?
To get new feathers!
Chomp!
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it was stapled to the chicken.
What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
What do you call a cow?
A cow!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the Mooovies.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Because his head is so high up in the air.
Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?
There's nothing worth shitting on.
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."