Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Alright listen up, this is some dark stuff. So basically, times are rough, right? So rough that this person has to, uh, get intimate with their dog. That's pretty messed up, and you should probably talk to someone. Stop watching Rick and Morty; your IQ is low enough as it is.