Puke jokes
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?
"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"
A man sits in a bar and gets seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics.
The bartender asked, "What's wrong, sir?"
The man replies, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me."
The bartender says, "Put $20 in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash."
So the man walks out with the $20 he put in his shirt pocket. The next day, the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?"
The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me $20 bucks for the wash."
The wife pulls out the money. "There is $40," says the wife.
"Oh, he also peed on me and paid for the wash, too." The man walks away believing he didn't get caught by his wife.
What was the first thing Thanos snapped?
Loki’s neck.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
Poooooooooooooooooooooop!
Pooooooooooop!
Pooooop.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
Poop is yummy, fuck!
Community talk
I puked and it gave me a bloody nose then I missed my bus then my mom let me stay home
Pissed off..... went home yesterday was actually exploding, puking, sharting like tf. my grandma is like "How do I know your not faking it" Bitch do you want me to puke on you????
AND HERE I AM AT FUCKING SCHOOL
look what my cousin said again , You wanna say i don't have friends well atleast i have real friends that dont lie like your dumbass you had to go around every class room and collect boys phone numbers because you get no bitches and no one wants you because you had lice and you didnt wanna get rid of them because it made you feel less lonely like bitch you are nasty and you wanna spread rumors about people because wh… Read more