Animal jokes
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
Yo mama so fat, cow!
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?
I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.
I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????
Nope. I'm moving to Japan.
KONNICHIWA
Memes
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.
Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?