Animal jokes
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Yo mama so fat, cow!
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because fuck society, that's why!
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The butt.
The butt who?
The butt goes mooooo!
I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.
I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????
Nope. I'm moving to Japan.
KONNICHIWA
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
Sister, can I see your two big rabbits?
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
Why are baby elephants so smart? They hang out with friends!
What has a magic car? A magic dog.
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.
Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.