Animal jokes
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish.
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: Lickalotofpuss.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!