What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
Animal Jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The butt.
The butt who?
The butt goes mooooo!
How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because fuck society, that's why!
I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.
I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????
Nope. I'm moving to Japan.
KONNICHIWA
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.
Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.
And he said to the man Running the stand, "Hey! Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?"
Sister, can I see your two big rabbits?
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
