Animal jokes
What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?
Shell shock!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-lotta-puss.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Why do seagulls not fly over the bay?
Because if they did, they'd be bay gulls.
What do you call a duck with no head?
Your mom gay.
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
Why don't sharks eat n****rs? They think it's whale shit.
Why did the cheetah kill the lion? Because he farted.
I know my jokes suck.
I have a big cock.
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
What is an egg?
Stupid cow.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.