Animal jokes
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
What's the difference between a redhead and an orangutan?
Some people adopt orangutans.
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
Stupid cow.
Memes
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...