Animal jokes
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
Stupid cow.
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Memes
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
What is an egg?
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
The butt quack one.
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
Why can't cheetahs run forever? Because they run out of breath!
Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.