Animal jokes
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
What's the difference between a redhead and an orangutan?
Some people adopt orangutans.
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
me😊
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
Stupid cow.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
Why can't cheetahs run forever? Because they run out of breath!