Animal jokes
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
What is an egg?
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
Memes
Good Morning. I LIKE COFEEEEEEE
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
The butt quack one.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
You look as fat as a pig.
Why can't cheetahs run forever? Because they run out of breath!