Animal jokes
What's the difference between a redhead and an orangutan?
Some people adopt orangutans.
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Stupid cow.
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.