Animal jokes
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
Hor- wait what the hell is that
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
What did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. 😂😂😂
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to a chicken.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!