Animal jokes
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
Memes
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
About a dog.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to a chicken.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.