Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was dumb.
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
Memes
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.