Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Animal Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"
Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"
"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."
"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra 🦓
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Friend: You look like a baboon.
Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
What do big fat male cows have?
Moobs.
