Animal jokes
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to a chicken.
What is a guide dog ๐ถ that cannot walk? A useless guide ๐ถ.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
About a dog.
Memes
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"
Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"
"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."
"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra ๐ฆ
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.