Animal jokes

On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?

On the outer side. 😂😂

Why did the baby cross the road?

Because it was stapled to a chicken.

What do you call a one-legged hippo?

A hoppo!

I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"

Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"

"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."

"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"

What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?

What is black, white, and red all over?

A dead zebra 🦓

What's black, white, and "read" all over?

A zebra after a lion is full.

What do you call a cow with three legs?

My ex.

What do big fat male cows have?

Moobs.

What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?

A can o' bull.

The early bird might get the worm...

But the second mouse gets the cheese.

Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?

"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Friend: You look like a baboon.

Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!

I named my dog Chicken.

I love eating chicken.

What is the best type of snake?

A dead one.

When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.

What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!

Goats are like mushrooms.

If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.

A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.

Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."