Animal jokes
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"
Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"
"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."
"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.