Animal jokes
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
Monkey monkey monkey monkey.
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because...
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
Dam!
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.