Animal jokes
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IDK! WHY?
To go see yo mama!
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"