Animal jokes
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
I love my dog, Sadie.
What do you call a cow with no leg?
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Silly cows go moo!
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?