Animal jokes
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
Memes
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
Why do cheetahs always win the race? Because he cheats, duh!
Why did the cheetah go to school?
To be a cheetah.
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny!
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.