Animal

Animal jokes

Cow

Why does a cow love music?

Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.

Squirrel

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!

Memes

Mouse

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

Cat

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"

Duck

If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.

Duck

A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”

Dog

What do you call a dog with no legs?

...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.

Cat

People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.

Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.

Parrot

[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?