Animal jokes
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
Memes
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To visit the ugly witch's house.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
The chicken!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Heehheehehehehehehe
To get to the other side. Ahaahahahahahahahahahahaa!
http://zebrahumor.wordpress.com has more zebra jokes.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.