Animal

Animal jokes

Cheetah

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

Breath

What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?

Chicken

Why’d the chicken cross the road?

To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!

“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”

Cricket

If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

A really fucking huge cricket.

Memes

Teacher

In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"

In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"

Bee

Why did the bee go to the doctors?

Answer: Because he had hives.

Mama

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.

Kid

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

Fish

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?

A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.

Giraffe

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Cat

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.

Giraffe

Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

Egg

What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆

Cheese

What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?

"That's nacho cheese!"

Hoe

Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.

Boy

Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.