Animal jokes
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
What is a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!!!!!
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Q: What kinda bees give milk?
A: Boobees.