Animal jokes
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Rabbit poop is cereal.
Memes
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
What is a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!!!!!
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).