Animal jokes
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Rabbit poop is cereal.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.