Animal jokes
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
What do you call an imposter octopus?
Octosus.
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?
Cheetah outta here!
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "Moo!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.