Animal jokes

Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!

Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.

One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.

Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."

What do you call an imposter octopus?

Octosus.

What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?

Cheetah outta here!

What would you name your pet rabbit?

Harry.

Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?

A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄

Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."

My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "Moo!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.

Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.

One time, a cow saved my life.

It was bovine intervention.

Rabbit poop is cereal.

Why don't we wrestle bears?

The pain is un-bearable.

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?

Her dog was blind, too.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"