What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
Animal Jokes
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
Why was the duck arrested?
Because it was caught selling quack.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
