Animal jokes
What do you call a male cow that snores?
A “Bull Dozer”.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"
The bartender says, "No bread here."
And then the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender says, "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?!"
And the bartender says, "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail."
So the duck says, "Got any nails?"
And then the bartender looks surprised, and says, "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
I named my dog Chicken.
I love eating chicken.
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
What's a furry's favorite news network? Fox!