Animal jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
Chuck Norris knows why the chicken crossed the road.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Hor- wait what the hell is that
Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
What animal can jump the highest? The emo kids.
Why did the cheetah get sad?
'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
What food does cheetahs eat?
Cheetos!
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
To fuck the chicken.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
What is a sheep's favorite soccer player? Paul Pogbaaa.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
http://zebrahumor.wordpress.com has more zebra jokes.