Animal jokes
What animal can jump the highest? The emo kids.
What food does cheetahs eat?
Cheetos!
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
Memes
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
Why was the duck arrested?
Because it was caught selling quack.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
What is the best la?
A koa-la!
Q: What is a clown’s favorite fish?
A: The clownfish.
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
Why did the koala cross the road to get to the other gum tree?
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.