Animal jokes
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Octopus.
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
Octopus, more like octopussy.
Elephant
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!