Animal jokes
Octopus, more like octopussy.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Octopus.
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Elephant
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
Koalas are awesome!
What are Africans' favorite game to play? Hungry hippos.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.