Animal jokes
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
Octopus.
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Memes
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
Koalas are awesome!
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "Moo!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.