Animal jokes
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
What is the difference between a cow and me?
Nothing.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
So it didn't get its nuts wet.
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
Elephant
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Octopus, more like octopussy.
Octopus.
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"