What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
Animal Jokes
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
Octopus.
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Elephant
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Octopus, more like octopussy.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
Koalas are awesome!
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
