Animal jokes
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
Memes
once u see it, you'll never un see it
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
Octopus.
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Elephant
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Octopus, more like octopussy.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!