Animal jokes
Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Why did the Hummingbird hum because he forgot the words?
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
I am starting a frog cult now!
Yooooooooooooooooooooooo!
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...
Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
A baby seal walked into a club.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Q: What do you do if you bump into a koala?
A: You koalagize to it.
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Do fish have tits?
Fish tits.
Why do cheetahs have spots?
Chickenpox!