What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Animal Jokes
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
I want to die.
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
What do you call a three humped camel?
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
They are hairy.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
