What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Animal Jokes
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
Why did the koala go to bed?
Because it was leafing.
I like zebras.
What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
A swan, a goose, and a penguin walked into a bar... I ducked.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.
Bald Eagle.
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
