Animal jokes
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
Memes
If you know you know
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."