Animal jokes
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
Memes
Meme:
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
MAGAnon is the goat.
🦆🦆🦆
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
I named my dog "5 miles," so now I can tell people I walk "5 miles" everyday. 😏😎
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.