Animal jokes
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
water puppy
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
MAGAnon is the goat.
🦆🦆🦆
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...
She said nothing.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot.