Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
I cried when Dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
MAGAnon is the goat.
🦆🦆🦆
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I named my dog "5 miles," so now I can tell people I walk "5 miles" everyday. 😏😎
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?
Because it was in da skies.