Animal jokes
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.
Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.
Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.
Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
bro what?
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
Because he was koala-fied!
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.