Animal jokes

Moo!

Cow: I was just about to say that!

Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.

Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?

Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.

When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!

What do you call an orphan fish?

Self-ish.

What did the duck say to the pond?

"Fuck Trump."

I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.

The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.

Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.

Why did the squirrel swim on his back?

To keep his nuts dry.

How do you spot a cow?

With a bingo dabber.

Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!

Why is the dog having KFC? Because the dog has no friends.

Where do otters come from? Otter space.

I love ❤️ dogs.

A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)