Animal jokes
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
Memes
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.
A baby seal walks into a club...
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
The one by die.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!