Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Animal Jokes
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.
A baby seal walks into a club...
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
The one by die.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer balls, two for under a buck!
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What food does a Cheetah eat?
Cheetos!
