Animal jokes
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
Because he was koala-fied!
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.
Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.