Animal jokes
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
yes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.
Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.