Animal jokes
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
What food does a Cheetah eat?
Cheetos!
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Why did the koala go to bed?
Because it was leafing.
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
I like zebras.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
A swan, a goose, and a penguin walked into a bar... I ducked.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.