Animal

Animal jokes

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?

A: Act like a nut.

(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)

A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"

Teacher: What does a cow say?

Susie: Moo.

Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?

Jimmy: The duck goes quack.

Teacher: Now what does a pig say?

Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"

Q: Whatโ€™s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.