Animal jokes
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
Holy cow!
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
The chicken is so fat.
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Teacher: What does a cow say?
Susie: Moo.
Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?
Jimmy: The duck goes quack.
Teacher: Now what does a pig say?
Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"
I smell like skunk.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"