Animal jokes
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Teacher: What does a cow say?
Susie: Moo.
Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?
Jimmy: The duck goes quack.
Teacher: Now what does a pig say?
Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"
I smell like skunk.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What is the difference between a cow and me?
Nothing.
Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.