Animal jokes
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.
Where do rabbits sleep?
In the junkyard outside.
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.
What is a rabbit's favorite drink? Hare wine.
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?