Animal jokes
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
What did a cat say to the dog?
"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
Holy cow!
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
The chicken is so fat.
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.