Animal jokes
I like cats.
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
What is a meatball without spaghetti? A cow.
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
What cow can part water? Mooses.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To Mario.
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg?
Her dog was blind, too.
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
Teacher: What does the pig's skin do?
Student: It keeps pig skin together! 😂
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore!
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.