Animal jokes
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
What food does a Cheetah eat?
Cheetos!
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean meat.
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!
What do you call a pig at the beach?
Bacon.
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?
CONSPIRACY!!!
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
What is the definition of polish sausage?
🐴🍖 Horse meat.