Animal jokes
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
What is the definition of polish sausage?
🐴🍖 Horse meat.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
What will Sarah Thompson (Ninja Steel Pink) do if she meets the ToQgers (Train Super Sentai)?
They will TRAIN together.
Why is it so hard to tame a dog?
Because it's unTRAINable!
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu!
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.