Age jokes
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
OLD KLADYBOFSIYTFJT
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
Your forehead and hairline are like friends; they go way back.